Black Sea, ( I love the Meze Platter) a fabulous Turkish restaurant in Saint Paul near Hamline University. I teach swimming lessons at a local YMCA and I was dreading a bit the loss of my free time as I will be at the Y two evenings a week. But the kids were ok, and still basically remembered how to swim. I then stuck around the Y, after blowing my workout off on Sunday, and at lunch today to have lunch with Kim, and had a great 4 mile run on the track of all places (I usually hate the track), and then lifted upper body weights and did a bit of ab work. I closed down the gym at 9 and came home and wasn't even starving so I calmly ate some mostly core foods.It's been a while since I've been in such a good mood on such an ordinary day, but I'll take it. I had the feeling all day that I am a very lucky person. I have a job I really like, great friends, a wonderful, loving husband, for which I thank my lucky stars every day, and a body that functions and does what I want it to most of the time. I was sitting on the shoulder press machine waiting my one minute rest in between my level 7 and 8 rep and reading an article on Rachel Ray. I've never been much of a fan, but the article (of course) was centered on how she stays fit and still enjoys cooking all that food. She has some very matter of fact advice, something like"Life is too short to be a size zero. I'm never going to be that. I don't want to be that. I just buy clothes with stretch and enjoy my life. I don't deny myself, just focus on the good, healthy, wholesome things."
I've noticed that whenever I have days like these, seemingly wonderful days for no apparent reason, that I start to question my quest to be thinner. Sure, I can see both sides of the argument (there's that legal education again), but do I really want to spend the rest of my life dealing with cognitive dissonance over weight issues? I know weight issues will never entirely go away. You don't work really hard and lose 65 lbs and not have weight matters simply go away. Many people will tell you that maintenance is far harder then losing the weight, and I didn't' think anything would ever be harder then that. Sure, I'm 10 lbs over my weight watchers goal and my favorite no stretch (sorry Rachel) size 12 Express jeans don't fit right now, and I see them every morning draped over my reading nook chair, but some days they're just not worth any stress. I might not be as thin as I want to be, but I am happy, healthy, and have so many things to be thankful for. It's on days like these I really appreciate perspective. I just read online about the Buffalo football player who will likely never walk again after trying to tackle the opposing team's player and shattered his spine. Skinny jeans aren't worth that.
I was reading Nancy Clark's Sport's Nutrition Guide the other night and she wrote "every day you can choose to lose weight, maintain weight, or gain weight." It's your choice. You don't have to lose weight every day. And that's ok. In her book, she encourages a woman who's downfall is ice cream (that's me!) to have ice cream twice a week for lunch- the woman soon discovered she doesn't crave it when she can have it whenever. It was like I'd never read that part before, when I've read it dozens of time. It made so much sense this time around. You have to be kind to yourself. Rigidity doesn't work. That I know. Nancy Clark also writes about a body's set point. The point at which the body is happy- doesn't have a hard time maintaining this weight, but will fight going below. I think I have definitely found my set point, and while it is higher then my WW goal, and those skinny jeans don't quite fit, I at least know where my body tends to settle. It's taken about 3 years, but I finally figured that out. My goal is still to get into those skinny jeans and still fit in my clothes that make me feel the best, but I think I have to reframe my motive in order to get there. I think I can accomplish my goals by focusing on the wholesome, healthy foods and not denying myself the things I like. But make sure they are really worth it. Don't indulge in mediocre food. Life is definately too short to eat mediocre food!
I am reading the book "What to Eat"-about food politics and marketing and how we choose what to eat amongs the barrage of choices. Did you know there are about 430,000 food products available on any given day and the average supermarket and restaurant offers 30,000-40,000 of them!! The author has a mantra "eat less, move more, focus on fruit and vegetables." It seems so simple. If I can pick one of those aspects to think about each day my healthy choices won't seem so difficult or irrelevant.
In a world where it's so hard to find healthy snacks on the run, I find it becoming more and more a personal affront that I can't find something without high fructose corn syrup or sugar or modified something or else in it. For example, I recently visited my parents in Salt Lake City, Utah over labor day weekend. On the way back I was waiting for my flight, and knew I would get hungry in the air. Not wanting to have to succumb to the $2 craptastic trail mix (it was really bad) offered by Northwest these days I set off to try to find something reasonably healthy and not too expensive. But, to literally no avail. My options- The airport book/gift stores, meaning candy, salted nuts, prepackaged sugar foods and soda. Burger King. Pizza Hut. TCBY. Quiznos. Rock Mountain Chocolate Factory (at least they weren't hiding their marketing perogative). That's it. I was appalled as I compared these pathetic options to the Twin Cities Airport, where at least you could get an overpriced $9 salad at The Damico and Son's or French Meadow stands. There was nothing like that in the Salt Lake Airport. I wondered if the International Wing would be any better, but I somehow doubted it. Probably more americanized junk in case we missed it too badly abroad. So, I wandered aimlessly around the mini food court, thinking about just opting for a chunk of fudge at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company, where I knew exactly what I was getting myself into, or considering whether the TCBY frozen yogurt would taste any better then a Wendy's frosty made from powder and sugary milk when I spotted the second to last yogurt parfait in the cooler at Quiznos. I was bit skeptical of it's quality. But it proclaimed 'freshness' and 'low-fatness' and 'high calciumness'- how could I go wrong. It looked iffy. The fruity dividing lines were watery and faint, indicating the formerly frozen status of the blueberries, but I couldnt' really argue. It did after all have the nutritional information and if it was even remotely accurate, it wasn't so bad. I wondered about the sugar in the yogurt and gave it an inquisitive squeeze. This had potential. It would either be super awesome giving my rising hunger level or plain awful. I gave it a shake. The granola was a but clumpy and looked distinctly like a mashed up Nature's Valley granola bar, but I was willing to try it. I also bought a banana. Ok- so they did have baskets of fruit, selling slightly brown $2 bananas. Not too inspiring. Nearly $8.50 later, I took my feast back to the gate. It had taken me so long they were already boarding the plane. As I stood there clutching my wares, I looked around and made eye contact with a few other lost souls I had acknowledged in the food court when searching for healthy options. They both gave me a wry smile and a look of 'what else could I do?'-I looked down and grasped in both of their hands, was a yogurt parfait and a banana. And in the end, the granola totally was a broken up Nature's Valley granola bar...but it was pretty tasty. I thought of my coworker Sage, who has an affinity for Super Target yogurt parfaits and made a mental note to try one next time we journeyed to Target for mid morning nourishment.
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